


Before Lazarus

by BardofHeartDive



Series: Tumblr Posts [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Virmire, Virmire AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 14:35:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6524155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardofHeartDive/pseuds/BardofHeartDive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A while back the fantastic georgialeflayart on tumblr posted a page of various Kaidan faces, including one who was left on Virmire but survived. It gave me the idea for this little piece. Feel free to let me know what you think!</p>
    </blockquote>





	Before Lazarus

**Author's Note:**

> A while back the fantastic georgialeflayart on tumblr posted a page of various Kaidan faces, including one who was left on Virmire but survived. It gave me the idea for this little piece. Feel free to let me know what you think!

The bomb at Kaidan’s back quaked like a beating heart. He was acutely aware of it because it felt like his own had stopped.

“Williams,” the Commander said through the comms. “Radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the AA tower.”

Kaidan breathed a sigh of relief when Ashley answered, “Yes, Commander. I . . . ”

He cut her off. “It’s the right choice and you know it, Ash.”

She clicked off at that but he thought he heard the start of a sob before her feed went dead. He would not have traded places with her for the world.

Shepard was more persistent. “Stay alive. I’ll be coming to get you too, Kaidan.”

“I think we both know that’s not going to happen, Commander,” he answered. Then, to make sure that finished the conversation, he closed the link.

He waited until the Normandy had disappeared out of the atmosphere before trying anything. If he had given any hint that he wasn’t resigned to die Shepard never would have left. There wasn’t time for that. The Council needed to know about Ilos. The Normandy needed to get clear of the blast. Shepard would accept the sacrifice but only if Kaidan believed it was unavoidable. But now that his people were safe he could try to save himself.

Escaping the blast-radius on foot would be impossible. No one with half a brain would suggest out-running a nuke as a viable exit plan. Kirrahe had known it, Kaidan was sure from the salarian’s grim resolve. Even if he wasn’t starting directly on top of the thing with a hole in his gut, the idea was absurd.

Technical solutions were also out of the question. In the first place, he couldn’t risk doing anything that would compromise the bomb. In the second, anything electronic he put in place would fail as soon as the EMP effects went off.

That left biotics.

Warps and singularities were useless here. He could try throwing himself clear but it certainly wasn’t his first choice. He wanted to use barriers but nothing he could create would absorb a nuclear explosion. A stasis field might have been able to hold it in but that would defeat the bomb’s purpose to begin with.

If he put it on the bomb.

It was possible, at least theoretically, that suspending himself in a stasis would protect him from the worst of the blast. The trick would be the timing. He could only hold a field for a few seconds so he’d have to time it perfectly. It wasn’t a good option by any stretch of the imagination but it was the best he had.

The pulse behind him was racing. 

Not long now . . .

As soon as he felt the tremor he surrounded himself with dark energy. He couldn’t move, couldn’t even blink, and he had time to think that he should have closed his eyes before everything went white.

* * *

Some time later it shifted from white to black. The darkness was soothing after the searing light. It was almost a relief but lost in the face of everything else.

His entire body hurt. He had a headache that surpassed even the worst of his migraines and there was something wrong with his jaw. He didn’t think he could move his left side but it was hard to tell since he couldn’t feel it. His right leg was numb too, except for an occasional pain that shot from the small of his back to the bottom of his foot. Bracing himself on his right arm, he tried to lift his chest off the ground but couldn’t.

He was pinned, he realized once the pain subsided enough for him to think. A large piece of debris was resting diagonally across his back, trapping him underneath. At least he could fix that. He steeled himself for the pain that would undoubtedly follow and called for his biotics.

But nothing came.

He had burned out before, from overuse and lack of rest, but this was different. It wasn’t that he couldn’t build up the energy, that he was too hungry, too thirsty, too exhausted to create a field. There was simply nothing.

And then he heard it.

A faint hum that grew to a roar, and eventually stopped with a whirring hiss not far away. The sound had been ingrained in him after the time he’d spent in spaceports.

It was a shuttle landing. 

_ Shepard. _

The door groaned open and boots hit the pavement. He counted two pairs.

He tried to call for help but he couldn’t make a sound. He tried to wave, to flag them down, but his body wouldn’t move. All the electronics in his suit, including the radio and locater, were fried and the radiation would likely interfere with their equipment. They would have to physically find him and there was nothing he could do to help them.

“God, look at this place,” one said.

“Shepard really did a number,” the other agreed.

Not Shepard then. But a still a potential rescue. Of course the Council, probably even the Alliance independently, would want to examine the remains of Saren’s facility.

The first voice was male, the second female, both somewhere off to his left. The shuttle engine was still running, so there was probably a third with them piloting. They stopped and, judging by the scraping and creaking, began sifting through the rubble.

“We’re not going to find anything here.”

“Orders are orders,” the other replied, though it was clear from her tone that she agreed. “I’ve got what I need. Which way was the lab?”

“Schematics said the lab was to the north.”

The footfalls came closer, then passed. He strained against the weight on his back but it was useless. His biotics and his voice were gone. He could barely move his right arm, certainly not enough to attract their attention.

So that was it.

And then, “What the . . . ?”

They came back, standing approximately where his right hand would be.

The man said, “It looks intact.”

“Is that even possible?”

“Hell if I know. Help me get it off him.”

The weight rose off him but none of the feeling in the rest of his body returned. He managed a forceful, rattling exhale.

“Jesus! Hadley, I think he’s alive.” Gloved fingers touched the side of his neck. “He’s got a pulse. Quick, give me your medigel then go back to the shuttle and get Hawthorne. Bring the medkit and the immobilization pack.”

Kaidan felt a quick prick then the pleasant warmth of medigel. The last thing he heard was the woman muttering, “So much for not finding anything.” 

* * *

Kaidan was no stranger to losing and regaining consciousness. It was supposed to be a slow process, a gentle rise and fall with an overall upward trend. Formless sounds became words that eventually gained meaning. Blurry shadows sharpened into shapes then objects. It was disorienting, yes, but that made it a strangely peaceful.

Not so this time. He was ripped from nothing to everything and the first thing he knew was that he was surrounded and someone’s hands were on his neck. 

His biotics flared as he exploded off the bed, throwing everyone around him back. It was a reflex, as natural as breathing. It set every nerve of his body on fire but he knew how to push through the pain. Without even a fraction of a second he wrapped a barrier around himself.

His attack had caused quite a stir for the people around him. Thuds and grunts had followed the throw, as well as a number sounds that didn’t come from people. The clatter of metal tools hitting the floor. He picked out seven, maybe eight, voices shouting. There was at least one other biotic in the room, he could feel the hum of their powers distinct from his own. 

A door hissed open and a woman ordered, “Stop. Stop it. Everyone stand down.”

Her voice was the epitome of calm and she had an accent he couldn’t quite place. British, maybe? She hadn’t raised her voice in the least but everyone followed the command. She was clearly the commanding officer here. He turned toward her voice and he realized . . .

How could he not have noticed until now?

“I can’t see.”

“No,” the she said, as if they were the only people in the room. “I’m sorry about that. The light from the blast burned the photoreceptors in your eyes. There was nothing we could do to save them but we are working on technical replacement.”

“Where am I?”

“Go on,” the woman said, and it took him a moment to realize she was talking to the other people in the room. “I’ll take it from here.”

A man’s voice, low and cautious, asked, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“It’s fine,” she answered. Then to Kaidan she said, “My team is going to leave now. There are a few that will need to pass you to get to the door.”

He nodded but didn’t lower his barriers as three or four walked by on his left. It sounded like one of them was being dragged.

“Where am I?” he repeated when they were alone.

“You’re on a mobile research and medical station, currently in the Phoenix System.” Then she added, “There’s no need for the barrier, Lieutenant.”

“How did you get them back?” he asked, leaving them up. “My biotics?”

“Whatever you did that protected you from the bomb overloaded your implants. Not just your amp, the entire system. We replaced them in surgery but they haven’t fully integrated yet. Until they do overuse could cause them to fail. That’s also why you’re feeling the pain.”

It was the honesty of her answer, more than the words themselves, that made him lower the barriers. The burning stopped immediately and he sat back on the edge of the bed. The woman dragged a chair over and sat as well.

“We also upgraded to an L4.”

“Not a 3?”

“We had a few working prototypes,” she answered and he heard the shrug in her voice. “Given your abilities with the L2, we thought implanting a 3 would be a waste. It provides a spike closer to a 2’s with all the stability of a 3. It will likely relieve your migraines.”

“Huh,” he said, not sure what else to say.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” she said with sincerity. “Waking you up, I mean. We had to use an experimental sedative to keep you stable. The weaning doses haven’t been completely established and your biotic metabolism only complicated the matter. It seems our calculations were insufficient.”

“I hope I didn’t hurt anyone.”

“Nothing that can’t be fixed,” she answered.

He went lightheaded suddenly and he might have fallen forward off the bed if she hadn’t caught him with a hand on either shoulder. She smelled like vanilla.

“Thank you,” he finished. “For saving me.”

“You saved yourself, Lieutenant. We just did what we could to help. And it was our pleasure.” She cleared her throat, adding, “You should probably get some rest. I’ll come and check on you later tonight.”

She helped him lie back then started to go. Her shoes clicked on the way to door but he stopped her before she could actually leave. 

“Wait.”

“Yes?”

“What’s your name?”

“Miranda Lawson.”

**Author's Note:**

> As a quick note, I started this before her other art of Virmire-survivor Kaidan was posted and I went in a slightly different direction. No offense was intended.


End file.
